SISTER POWEL: nah, i’m okay
Hello family and friends,
This week’s Swedish surprise was Pizza Hut in Stockholm. We were with half of the missionaries here in Sweden for a mission conference. I was able to see everyone serving towards the northern part of Sweden, hard to explain exactly where the cut off is. Anyways, I was able to see everyone from my MTC group. It was so great. It’s weird to see them and see how different they are. It’s only been a month but they were different people I swear! Loved it. Being in Stockholm also reminded me of how tiny of a town I am serving in. I was dying with how many people there were running around! Talk about overwhelming. Some elders were all, ‘Sister Powell, have you seen pizza hut yet?’ And I’m like,,,, noooo? hahaha Pizza Hut in Sweden is a sit down restaurant, pizza is eaten off of fancy plates and you drink out of those goblet things. The lighting is dim and you sit on fancy couches. So weird. And I’m just sitting there like uhhh I’ll take a pepperoni and I’ll eat it with my hands, thank you. I think I like American Pizza Hut more.
Some highlights from the past two weeks:
-First day of school here in Sweden. I love the “first day of school” buzz that has been in the air. I had a dream that it’s my first day of school and I walk in to English class: my teacher is President Hinckley. I guess that’s what happens when you combine the world and the mission.
-Got an email from one of my friends from BYU and he says, ‘Hannah, you’ll never guess who my trainer is…..’ and I see a picture my cousin Kai! Such a small world and I was SO EXCITED. Two of the very best kids I know preaching the word together in Chinese. I love this missionary force.
-Walk towards a guy to talk to him and he runs into a bush trying to get away from me. These Swedes are way more introverted than I am, makes me laugh.
-Sister C. and I were talking and she said something I loved, ‘The Lord makes it so the only thing stopping the work from going forward is ourselves.’ SO TRUE. Before the mission I had all these stomach problems and I was so sick all the time. I couldn’t eat certain foods and it was just a mess. I haven’t been sick at all since I came on my mission and I can eat anything I want (sort of a curse, actually hahah). And right before my mission something weird happened with my back and I was out of commission so to speak for a few weeks. I was so worried I would have to push back my mission or something because I seriously couldn’t walk. The first day I could stand was the day of my farewell. I have had zero back pain since I put on my name tag. God is good and truly the only thing stopping this work from moving forward is myself.
-Had an ‘American party’ with the branch. Fed them pancakes and chili dogs. They will never know how strange of a combination that is. A family stayed behind and cleaned the ENTIRE CHURCH. I looked at the mom and dad and I thought, ‘They have one in every ward.’ That would often be my mom and dad, making us stay behind ward parties to clean and I would always complain, “It’s not our Saturday to clean the church!.” So great.
-Had interviews with President. Again realized how tiny of a town I am in. So overwhelming with so many people and such big buildings in different cities!
-Went on exchanges. Syster Haughlid came to Katrineholm and as we are walking she says, “You talk like your mom, ya know?” And I said, “You don’t know my mom, what??” She remembered how much of a greenie I am as she had to explain all this mission lingo to me. Turns out I talk a lot like Syster Christison! Syster Haughlid is getting ready to leave and she asks me, “have you seen Gilmore Girls?’ I said, “YES! You understand!!! This is Stars Hollow!!” And she says, “It really is! I have been thinking that this whole time!” So funny! I am living in little Stars Hollow. I took her to meet the town’s ‘Kirk’ and ‘Babette’ and of course, ‘Taylor’ who just happens to own a candy shop in town. It’s hilarious.
This week we contacted a man and asked him about his beliefs. We talked for a while and he finally says, “I believe in God. Why are you telling me about your church? Go and talk to other people who don’t believe in God. I do.” We explained that our message can help everyone–those who believe in God, those who don’t, everyone. The gospel of Jesus Christ can improve EVERYONE’S situation, regardless of what that situation is. He says, “Nah, I’m okay. Go talk to someone else who needs God more than I do.”
I walked away from that man a little heartbroken. There is a word in Swedish that doesn’t directly translate to English, ‘lagom’. It’s sort of like “just right” or “adequate” or “satisfied”. It’s the Swedes’ favorite word. They are always saying things are lagom. I can’t seem to get it down and missionaries always tell me I will eventually. Anyways, that man made me think a bit more about lagom. He explained that his faith is lagom. His trust in God is lagom. His relationship with his Maker and Father is lagom.
I think so many people are satisfied with a lagom testimony or a lagom relationship with Christ. I know I have been plenty of times in my life. There are many who are afraid to exceed, afraid to be anything other than ‘just satisfied’ or ‘adequate’. They sort of slip under the radar, missing out on the full blessings that God is just sitting there waiting to give them.
I know that for most of my life I have slipped under the radar. I have read my scriptures and gone to church and prayed once or twice a day and gone to seminary. But that’s it. I have had such a shallow testimony and such a weak relationship with God. I have felt that out here on my mission. I have had to sit down and pray to God and actually ask Him if He is real. If He knows me and if He is aware of my situation and who I am. I have had to learn all of this since being a missionary. I am thankful for this time that I have to actually become converted. To learn about God and learn about His nature. I wish so badly though that I would have developed a relationship with my Heavenly Father long before I came on my mission.
I have been studying Alma this week. I have thought about the life he lived before he heard Abinadi’s teachings. What kind of person was he before then? He probably lived a good life, comfortable and content with his situation. But then he head Abinadi’s teachings and he decided to act. He decided to change and to believe and to hope in a God that Abinadi seemed so sure of. How easy would it have been for him to say, ‘Nah, I’m okay. I don’t need a relationship with God.” Who knows, maybe he did believe in God. Maybe he was exactly like that man we talked to on the street, “I’m okay, go talk to someone who doesn’t believe in God.” But how very lucky are we that he chose in that moment to exceed. He chose to push past the natural man tendencies and come closer to Christ. He went on and taught Abinadi’s words in hiding as King Noah searched for him. He brought so many people to the truth and to the waters of baptism. By the time he was discovered by King Noah and had to hide in the wilderness, he had brought 450 people to the gospel. All that came from one man who decided to act and to do something about his faith.
I think there are a lot of reasons why we choose not to act and choose to be content with our lagom testimonies and lagom spiritual lives. Some of it can be fear: fear of rejection from friends and family. We meet a lot of people like that. Those who are afraid to break tradition in their family and leave a certain church. Then we meet people who can be killed for believing in Christ and yet there they are reading the Book of Mormon and testifying in fast and testimony meeting of the atonement. Fear of rejection or fear of people thinking certain things about you is NOTHING.
A lot of times it is laziness. So many people say they don’t have time to have a certain calling or to read their scriptures for 30 minutes a day. General Conference is on Saturdays and I have too much to do on Saturdays. The temple is 40 minutes away and takes too much of my time. I can’t speak in church because I have no time to prepare. I just don’t think that’s gonna cut it. I really don’t. I don’t think that will go over well when we are talking with our Savior and we say, “Well, ya see, I just really had too much to do to accept that calling. I couldn’t have made it work. I would have been selling the calling short so I figured someone else could take it”. I can’t see that going over well.
Other times its distractions. This world is crazy and there is a lot going on. There are a lot of things grabbing our attention. I used this excuse a lot growing up. I couldn’t go to mutual because I had too much homework or I couldn’t have FHE because I needed to get this done and ya know, it didn’t cut it. I would oftentimes set my alarm early to read my scriptures and then just snooze through it and think,’I’ll read them tonight ‘and then I’d read maybe a verse before bed and I’d say, ‘Oh, I’ll read them in the morning’ only to snooze again. It didn’t cut it. I would pray at night as I started to fall asleep and that didn’t cut it. I didn’t have a relationship with God and I didn’t know the scriptures and I really wasn’t focused on Christ.
I don’t know what you are waiting for. I don’t know if you need to change your entertainment habits or go to bed earlier so you can wake up and study the scriptures. I don’t know if you need to accept a calling that scares you or clear your schedule to spend time with your family. I don’t know what is stopping you. But I challenge you to make those changes. Don’t settle. Don’t say, “Ahh, I’m okay.” Don’t walk away from an opportunity to learn and grow. That is the purpose of this life and I hope with all my heart we each use this time wisely. It is not a time of worldly success competition. It is a time of spiritual growth. Make the changes you need to make. Be the person God wants you to be. Don’t settle. Don’t get in ruts and don’t become governed by repetition. Choose every single day to aim a little higher and to come a little closer to God and His Son. Mosiah 2:41 “I would desire that ye should consider on the blessed and happy state of those that keep the commandments of God.” As someone who is making changes and striving to put off the natural man every single day–I testify that happiness awaits as we exceed our lagom spiritual growth. Pure happiness–the kind that makes your heart feel like it will explode–lies waiting for you as you come a little closer to God. Talk to God, tell Him what you desire to change. Tell Him that you want to understand Him better, to follow His plan for you with more exactness, and to be the servant He has called you to be. I promise that as you do, you and I will feel like Ammon, “We will glory in the Lord; yea, we will rejoice, for our joy is full; yea, we will praise our God forever. Who can glory too much in the Lord? Who can say too much of His great power, and of His mercy, and of His long-suffering towards the children of men? Behold, (we) cannot say the smallest part which (we) feel.” I love my Heavenly Father. I love Him and I testify that He loves you. He will fill you with His love if you ever, ever, ever doubt that it exists. He will pick you up off the ground and dust you off and He will call you by name and say, “Believe in me. Believe that I have power to help you.” Let Him help you. Come to Him. Understand Christ’s atonement. Understand that He sacrificed for you. I am thankful to Him and thankful to my God for the things that I am learning here. I invite each of you to change this week–do something that you have been putting off. Don’t settle for your lagom testimony. Exceed and experience the happiness that I promise you awaits.
I love Sweden and I love being a representative of my Savior here. I am so thankful for the many prayers and letters and love that are being sent my way every day. I miss you all!
