SISTER POWELL: Expectations
Let’s start with a funny story from the wonderful life of Sister Powell. So in our branch, there are 6 districts. Each week, a sister and an elder are randomly called to give a pre-prepared talk on an assigned topic. Well, two weeks ago a sister from our district got called to speak. The rest of the sisters (mainly me) were convinced that that meant that no other sisters from our district would be called. There are 5 other districts to pull from! Soooooooooooo who didn’t prepare a talk this week? Me. President Hill stood up at the pulpit and said, “Today we will hear from Sister Powell on the Book of Mormon” -__-. Cool. hahahahahah I just died because it would be the one time I don’t have a talk prepared. hahaha 10 minutes out of my head right there. “If ye are prepared ye shall not fear”. Well folks, always be prepared. The Lord will make sure you see the benefits from being prepared hahahaha. It was a hilarious day.
One of our teachers couldn’t come in to teach us this week but have no fear! A Danish teacher is here! hahahahah Most entertaining class period of my life. Danish, Swedish, and Norwegian are all pretty similar. They have different accents and a few different words here and there, but for the most part it is very similar. It was just hilarious. He stood up and he says, “First things first, we are going to have språk study (language study). Yep, I’m gonna teach you Swedish!” hahaha. We were all learning as we went along. We were dying. We tried to teach him a lesson but he would say something in “Swedish” and we would just sit there with blank expressions. Yeahhhhhh we don’t get this word or this word or this word…. so he’d just say it in English. Then we’d respond in Swedish and he would have the blank face, “umm.. What does this word and this word and this word mean?” So then we’d just reply in English. It was hysterical. I love this crazy place. And for the record——Swedish is so much prettier than Danish. Mom, I know we both wanted Denmark but I am pretty pleased with the result hahah. And don’t worry, we can go back and visit and I’ll be able to speak it! Benefits of learning Swedish: you also learn Danish and Norwegian hahaha.
This week I have been thinking about expectations. My companion is an artist. She is so talented. It’s been interesting to serve with her just because she experiences things so different than I do. We express ourselves differently, teach differently, and we feel the Spirit differently. It’s so fun to see these differences and then be able to work together. Tender mercies, let me tell you. Anyways, she has really opened my eyes to the world of art. Yes, Imam moved through words: poetry, music lyrics, literature, talks. That’s how I feel the Spirit. She sees God as she paints, as she ponders artworks, and as she learns more of artists. This week we talked about Del Parson and his “The Lost Lamb” painting. This is an iconic picture, one that most LDS members know. It depicts Christ carrying a little lamb and tenderly loving it and caring for it. When Del Parson first thought of this idea, he actually pictured Christ carrying the lamb on his shoulders. He found a model to pose and they picked up a little baby lamb from a nearby farm. This little lamb was so sick though, too weak to hold its head up on its own. Parson would position the lamb around the model’s neck just perfectly, step back to snap a photo, and the little lamb’s head would droop. He did this over and over again, trying too hard to create this image he had in his head. Eventually the sun began to set and Parson worried that he had lost his chance. He packed up most of the equipment and turned around to see the model sweetly cradling the little lamb. Parson snapped the photo right then and saw his vision for the painting change. He says of the experience, “The painting is much more personal than I had originally envisioned. It not only depicts the lamb’s rescue, but the tender comfort and love that the Lord extends to us all when we lose our way and are too weak and frail to return on our own.” How lucky are we that we get to enjoy this version of the painting. We get to see us as the baby lamb, tenderly loved and cared for by the Savior. How lucky are we that Parson was willing to change his expectations for the greater good. How lucky are we that Parson wasn’t so frustrated and annoyed with the sick lamb that he ignored a different masterpiece idea.
I often times think of Joseph Smith’s expectations as he went into a grove of trees to pray. I doubt that Joseph had ever even considered having Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ visit him that day. I oftentimes wonder what it was that he expected–maybe an answer through a different passage of scripture, a new church to roll into town promising to be the true church, or maybe a feeling of awe or love towards one church. Who knows? He has said of the experience in his history, verse 23, “It caused me serious reflection then, and often has since, how very strange it was that an obscure boy, of a little over fourteen years of age…should be thought a character of sufficient importance to attract the attention of the great ones and most popular sects of the day.” Yes, how very strange. How very unexpected. Isn’t it funny that the things we expect and the things we plan for are often greatly less than the things God plans for and expects? How lucky am I that Joseph was willing to take this experience well. He was able to change his expectations, and has since done more for this church and the world save Jesus Christ. How very lucky am I that Joseph did not shirk from a new experience, something that he could not have planned for.
Isaiah 58:11, “And the lord shall guide thee continually.” 1 Nephi 4:6, “And I was led by the spirit, not knowing beforehand the things which I should do.” Well, Del Parson and Joseph Smith are two examples of that. They were led by the Spirit, not having a clue beforehand what would occur. They thought they knew, but once they took that first step it was all up to the Lord. What a promise in Isaiah “The Lord SHALL guide thee CONTINUALLY.”
I have thought of instances in my life where I have walked forward, trusting in the Lord even though I have not known beforehand what I should do. College was like that for me. I never pictured myself ending up at BYU. It surprised me just as much as it surprised everyone else. But I was led and guided there by my Father in Heaven. And it turned out to the be greatest experience of my life. I had to change my expectations for college. No, I would not be going to USU. No, I wouldn’t be rooming with anyone I knew, no I wouldn’t have a big beautiful scholarship to the school I dreamed of going to. But man, what an experience I did have. What a great and beautiful change that only the Lord could have planned for. I found myself happier than I had ever been before, and there I was at school I had grown up disliking. Oh how lucky am I – changed my expectations. Oh how lucky I am that the Lord bettered the ideas I had for myself.
The MTC has been different than I had previously expected. It has been harder than I thought it would be, because it has been harder in areas I didn’t think about beforehand. I was all geared up to fight certain battles, but the ones that the Lord blessed me with have been different than I expected. I have found some weak chinks in my armor and some unsure parts of my testimony. I have found more flaws in my character than I could have prepared for. I have missed my family in a different way than I thought. I have struggled with self-confidence and fears. But man, have I been blessed. I have felt the Spirit working through me in ways I didn’t think were possible. I have felt myself let go of so many reservations and concerns. I have felt myself become an instrument: unsure completely of what to do, yet confident in the name I wear with mine. I have been humbled, reminded of things I can improve on, and lifted to heights I haven’t experienced before. It has been far better than the expectations I previously set for the MTC. I’m here later than I wanted to be, with a companion I certainly didn’t expect, in a district I didn’t plan on loving so much. It’s all perfect. My comp is 21 and wanted to serve as soon as the age change was announced. She and I have since expressed that we needed this experience together: she is part of the reason I didn’t leave when I wanted and I am part of the reason she didn’t leave when she wanted. How lucky are we that we could accept a different result? How lucky are we that we weren’t so distraught by the change in expectations that we didn’t go through with it. I hope that I can continue this throughout my life. I hope that I continue to learn that I must stop my tendency to expect. I hope that I prepare well, but don’t get so caught up in my perception of things that I ignore the beautiful results. I don’t know what to expect for Sweden. I don’t know how these next couple of weeks will be. I am excited though and I am putting full and complete trust in God and in His Son. I know that through them I will be carried. I hope for a good trainer, I hope for a good area, I hope to understand 15% of what people say to me, hahah. I hope for a lot of things but I expect little. I expect to work hard to be exhausted. I hope to grow and learn and testify with boldness. I expect to love and hurt and weep and laugh more than I ever have before. I expect to be confused, to be tired, to be lost, and to feel weak. I expect those things. I’ll leave the rest up to the Lord. I expect Him to guide me–and that is the one thing I know I CAN expect.
This time next week ipI will be across the world. It is crazy. My time here is over and it is now time to shine. I pray that I will feel confident and sure, that I will trust in my God continually, even though I do not know beforehand the things I will be asked to do, for I KNOW that He shall guide me.
Love you all and thanks for the prayers,
